Planning a Masterpiece Wedding in 3 Months

      Have you ever been filled with a vision, a purpose, a joy, so strong that when others look at you as if you're crazy, you still believe "it can be done." This was planning my wedding in 3 months. Did I have a clue about the planning? The exact timeline? The realities of all the details? Nope. But I had a deep purpose and joy in my mission because I would be with my true love. When your mind is made up, don't be wishy-washy...stick to it! Here are some of my survival pointers.

1. Get premarital counseling.  What?...why? While this component to a 3-month engagement might be easily overlooked, it is the most crucial. It will (hopefully) work out the most major kinks in your relationship and thus make you two a more unified, stronger team and truly know whether you should proceed with your wedding or make another decision. It will separate your preparation from easily getting tangled up in all the 'doing'  and fill you with a deeeper spiritual and intellectual peace of why you're doing this. You cannot underestimate the power of premarital counseling, and I truly thank my now-husband for setting this up for us ASAP. Smart man he is.

1.5 GET YOUR DATE SET. This is a frustrating one while you two are deciding, but I was reminded by my loved ones that,"The date you two set, is the right date." This gave me peace.

2. Find venues and suppliers. Get the most important ones first, then the others will come!
Give yourself limited choices, so you are not overwhelmed. As Curt began searching and booking the major components of our wedding, I was filled with gratitude for my incredibly talented community. Our cake guy was going to make some cakes look like birch wood and others like dark hardwood. My florist was extremely well-hearsed and laid back, showing me examples of different colors and arrangements until I said, "that's it...love that!" She even told me how to cut costs when it came to table flowers...she was awesome. And getting my dress?...that was a whole adventure in and of itself but the end result was SO worth it! I got my dream dress(an Amelia Sposa), on Ebay(from Russia) for a MUCH better deal than I'd have paid otherwise, AND it fit like a glove! Moral of the story?--- be adventurous in your searching, give a laugh, and believe that what's meant to be, WILL BE.
     Curt I tried to line up getting a venue, one of the most difficult aspects. We had a small pool of original ideas. Then we talked through why we would or would not be happy with the end result. A friend mentioned a place she'd been to for a wedding before, and I looked it up. I had an inkling to pray about it as I called the venue and left a message. They got back to me, and when they asked what date I was trying for, at first they said "Sorry, we can't make it work." However, I didn't hang up...I had a feeling, albeit a weak one...and asked some crucial questions about what could be done, and what we were exactly looking for. This turned into "well, we could maybe make that work for you." So we booked a tour, fell in love, and I could tell that when we toured, the venue was ready to sign us on. But we still gave ourselves at least a week to think and talk it over, to be sure. Then we were sure. I would like to note, that when you are trying to book within 3 months and many places have limited availability, it helps to choose a less popular day/time for your event. That's what we did, going for a Monday/Holiday wedding.

3. Divide and Conquer. It's important for the sake of your lifetime relationship, that you don't feel like one or the other is doing all the work. Each of you needs to feel the responsibility. Make to-do lists and a timeline that works for you two, without feeling the pressure of what everyone else says you're supposed to do. And make sure you express your gratitude to each other many times throughout the process!..."Hun, thank you sooo much for all you're doing; I see your effort and care!" <3 Giving thanks gave us encouragement for the continued hard work on top of our full-time jobs. Curt was excellent at looking at the big picture, doing the budget, keeping track of guest and invite send-outs, RSVP's, etc, all organized. So he did that. I love hands-on work, and the beautiful decorative atmosphere of things, so that was my side of effort. I picked out our invites ahead of time, which set the tone for our theme. I'm also good at wording things so I helped with that too. Curt helped with printing invites and getting stamps, I helped with bundling them with a bow and sending them off. When RSVP s came in, Curt logged them into our wedding planner spreadsheet. I shopped for all sorts of deals on table cloths, lace cloths, dinner chargers, glassware, vine wreaths & floral, and al sorts of little details that fit with my vision(which grew as I found each element!). Curt booked things that needed to be booked, such as DJ, getting event insurance, security deposit on venue, paying caterer, etc.

4. Take a break. What?...I only have two months left! No one wants to be around a stressed out bridezilla, and you don't even want to be around yourself. I was advised by our premarital councilor, " Don't put so much on yourself before the wedding that you end up over-tired and crabby with Curt when you get to your honeymoon." He also reminded me that the bride sets the tone for the wedding. I kept this goal ahead of me with authority, even though at times I broke down in tears and felt it impossible. Believe! Oh little of faith. And there were times for both Curt and I, when we had free time off work that we felt lazy not doing 'wedding stuff' but often times this is what we needed! Like going for a run. Or reading scripture without being in a hurry. One of my favorite memories in this process, is when Curt and I took a paddle boat out on the water on a sunny Sunday afternoon. We dreamed and laughed, talking about other elements to our upcoming life that we were excited about. That afternoon, we rode horses, swam, and then paddle-boated, and later ate some incredible food from an artsy  place we'd never heard of. Since we both like exerting ourselves outdoors, this was incredibly refreshing. Even in the week proceeding our wedding, we were advised to do a date night where we paused talking about more wedding details. This was very hard to do, and I was crabby that night we decided to make dinner together. It took quiet food prep, and every now and then Curt gave me a mini kiss on my forehead or cheek. Once we had a little food in our belly, I had warmed up. It was then a lovely evening together, reconnecting on why we're together. This again, encouraged us for the next crazy, tiring days ahead.

5. Stay Classy. It's easy to say, "No, I don't even even care about that." Which, believe me, many times, I did say this! Now I'm embarrassed that I did. Some of those things that I thought
I could do without, I came to learn that they were some of the most meaningful aspects that I'll forever treasure. You don't want half-assed elements in your masterpiece, do you? It was easy to think to myself many times,"I'm too tired tonight to finish this, or "I don't care what details go on my programs if they're just thrown away," or "who remembers centerpieces anyway?" But I had to stop and remember that the heart of my truest Heart, is good artistic design, and this was one of the masterpieces of my life. (P.S. I'm not a gifted event planner though!) Another thought that kept me motivated on the many long days was,"If my guests are lovingly coming such a long way to celebrate with us,  don't I want them to feel well-appreciated, and have a delightful, memorable experience of joy and love that they'll never forget?" Truly, reminding myself of this gave me energy. Though some would say that your wedding day is 'all about you' and there's truth to that, it gave me energy to be 'others-focused' rather than 'self-focused.' My friend Amy who helped greatly with my decor and layout, reminded me to do the expected traditions that I'd originally thought didn't matter so much. And in the end, I'm so glad that we had those traditional, organized elements! These include but are not limited to: ceremony layout, unity act, ushers and seating, entrance atmosphere, number and arrangement of bridal and groom party, cocktail hour activities for guests, photography layout, labeling things throughout so guests are well-informed, creating good flow for guests, timeline the day-of, a personal attendant for yourself, a day-of-coordinator and/or day-of host for making sure everyone has what they need and are doing well. You want smooth flow, happy, well-cared for people, excellent food, and lots of classy fun!

6. Get help. Haha, you thought you could do this mostly alone in the beginning, if you're like me. But now you realize that you are in over your head with details and decisions. That's what other gifted people are for! If you are good friend to another and ready to help in their time of need, why would they not do for you? In a way, we've lost this time and era, and often think we need to fend for ourselves. If you're like me, you hate asking for help and for favors. I'ts just pride, which is actually an ancient struggle. I was reminded by more than one person to ask for more help, and OH MY GOODNESS, the help that come through, I was SOOO thankful for!! When you do ask for favors and help, be gracious and classy about it, not over particular and yet be clear. Again, I'm no pro at this but believe me, I can't underestimate the power of good help anymore. Now I want to do this for others too.

   If you're destined and brave souls, you can do this. Make it your own, and let it suprise you back in return. You're making history! Our wedding day turned out to suprise us with more beauty, peace, love and joy than we could have imagined. And for those who do venture the three-month engagement, you know, truly, that the real prep began way before these three months. May your masterpiece story live long!

     Many thanks to Brule River Barn, Sam's Florist, AT Entertainment, to The Exchange(cakes), The Cupcake Lady(Proctor), Good Thyme Catering(Washburn), all the Duluth area supply stores, FB Marketplace, Bella Rose Bridal, Ebay, Amy & Dave Peterson, Bellaire Photography(my sister), Amazon, Dave Addink, Sarah Feyder, Nate Marsh, The PForr's, The Boren's, our entire city group at RHCC, and all my wild-hearted friends around the world who gave me bravory and who dreamed with me for this day(namely, Ireland).