"Born at 7:31 a.m. 10/05/19, weighing 6 lbs, 14.9 ounces, 19 inches long! Pure beauty and perfection",(part of my FB post).
Her name Rannva, is an old Norse name from the Faroe Islands, that has a few meanings: 'house of strength', 'house of battle', and 'war council (signifying wisdom). Though the name has stayed with us her whole pregnancy, the last days gave the most meaning. I had 12 days of prodromal labor, as labor would start and then die off day after day. It turned me into a vessel symbolizing a house of strength and and house of battle!! It wore me down physically, emotionally and mentally, and yet I'd have to summon it back up as I awaited her birth. In this part of the journey, I'll humbly say, my mind went to some dark places... after so many days I realized that my mind had weakened and that I was giving way to depression, thoughts of self-harm and hopelessness, and disbelief in my body. But let me say, this whole wrestling with mind, body and spirit when you're about to give birth is something else! So when this hit... I was just not doing okay. I talked to both my husband as well as our doula about it, and that did help. But I still needed to feel okay...I needed to release my fears that had built up.
We were not planning on induction but eventually came face to face with this decision, and the weight of it felt like more than I could bear...I cried out to God about it, and finally I found peace in going for it, because I sensed that my body needed some help with something. (Shout out to our pastor's wife Liz for giving me courage and understanding in this!... she'd had the same type of labor more than once!) And....the induction was hardly an induction! Only two tiny cydotec tablets (and realistically the nurse told me later that I probably hadn't even needed the second tablet), and WOW did that ever kickstart me into active labor!!! Fast and powerful, active labor only ended up being 4 to 4 and 1/2 hours, including the pushing!
When I reached pushing phase, I actually wasn't sure that I was there already. Though I must've gone from a 4 to a 10 (cm) in hardly more than an hour, and I did feel it all, somehow in the back of my mind I kept thinking, "this could still take awhile, like hours longer." I was actually still saying that I wanted to try tub labor! And one of the nurses went off to get me the 'kya stool' for me to use in the tub! But then it was suggested that I make space with my bladder, since I was drinking SOOO much water and hadn't peed in hours. And something was changing with my contractions. Off to the toilet I barely waddled, feeling like I had to go more than pee(hint hint). Another friend had told me that it'd feel like this, so in the back of my mind I was like " maybe?maybe I'm actually here already?"
She came flying out in the hospital bathroom (tiny bathroom I might add)😂😂, and from the two doctors who ran into the room, the one RA barely caught her in time! 🤣 Then I stood up and grabbed my newborn and walked to the bed, in total utter amazement of what just transpired. I wouldn't change it for anything...I love wild adventures I couldn't have thought this up on my own...it was AWESOME. Curt had been right there helping me in the bathroom the whole time, and was totally surprised that she simply slipped out, just like that. He'd been supporting me and looked down saying, "Oh W-O-O-O-W!! ", as we stared in awe at her perfect, beautiful, wet body. 😊😹😲😂
Back to my wild labor, what INCREDIBLY helped me was having my husband behind me and our doula Alisha in front of me for all the physical support. They kept talking and working me through the contractions in powerful ways...it would have been so much harder otherwise.🙌🙌 Alisha reminded me to 'blowww' and to release my tension from my fingers and toes. I would let them go limp in between contractions and focus my breathing in relaxation. This really helped me to relax through the next contractions and distract the intensity. My husband kept saying, "long, deeeep breaths...release the tension from your shoulders... you're doing so well!" Alisha would ask, "how did that one feel? Did you notice that one was different? Now try some lunges...yes, open that pelvis... wonderful!" And she had the robozo scarf around her shoulders so I'd face her and PULL on the scarf like ropes in my hands, and she'd say "PULL HARDER!..there you go, HARDER". And when I pulled harder I DID really feel myself opening up!!
Then my cervix apparently went from probably a 4 to a 10 in like an hour!!(totally hadn't thought that'd happen to me!) I did't have much for cervix checks except for the night before, and I was glad not knowing my number. I didn't want my dialation number to distract me. But I know that I lost my mucus plug about an hour and fifteen minutes before birth! For contraction management, I did the 'horse lips' blowing trick, which I learned from my prenatal yoga teacher Stacy. This blowing technique, though it sounds ridiculous, does A LOT for opening a women up and keeping you from clenching your jaw. So I believe that really helped, and I kept telling myself while my eyes pretty much remained closed, "lean INTO the pain, not away from it". This 'leaning into the pain' thing was one of the biggest lessons that I learned for laboring. [Side note, it's amazing how laboring runs so parallel with 'co-laboring with Christ', is it not? We can't run away from it, otherwise it's not labor. Thinking of it as a 'joy to labor' totally changes it. ]
We played incredibly beautiful David Nevue piano music in the room for my entire labor, birth/afterbirth...that did something too. All the prep work from my yoga group and my support team, mattered greatly in how things played out. Being held up in prayer by friends and family, also really made our baby's journey into the world a safe one touchd by God. And I am so, so grateful!! And WOW, the nurses at St. Luke's were absolutely wonderful too.💞 Could not recommend them more.👐
So, WE are PARENTS!! I'm a mama!! We are here safe and sound!
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